Before Barack Obama became the 44th President of the United States and captured the nation’s heart alongside Michelle Obama, there was another chapter in his love life. A recent biography, “Rising Star: The Making of Barack Obama” by David J. Garrow sheds light on his early romantic endeavors and the woman he proposed to before Michelle entered the picture.
Let’s delve into this lesser-known part of Obama’s love life.
The Proposal to Sheila Miyoshi Jager
In the winter of 1986, Barack Obama was deeply involved in a romantic relationship with Sheila Miyoshi Jager, who later became a professor at Oberlin College in Ohio. During this time, Obama popped the question and asked Jager to marry him. However, their love story was not without its share of obstacles.
Parental Objections and Political Ambitions
Jager’s parents had reservations about the union. They believed their daughter, in her early twenties, was too young to commit. Additionally, she was two years younger than Obama. Despite her parents’ objections, their romance persisted, but it soon encountered challenges.
Jager revealed that Obama’s growing political aspirations overshadow their relationship. He began to believe that he was destined for a life in politics and, perhaps, even as the first African-American president. During this transformation, race began to play a significant role in their connection.
“I remember very clearly when this transformation happened, and I remember very specifically that by 1987, about a year into our relationship, he already had his sights on becoming president,” Jager recalled.
Political Ambitions and Race
For Obama, maintaining a clear distinction between his personal life and political ambitions became crucial. However, Jager claims that Obama eventually considered her ethnicity, a blend of Dutch and Japanese heritage, as a potential political hindrance.
Meanwhile, Obama was increasingly embracing his African-American background to advance his political career. Garrow noted that being in a racially mixed marriage could be a political liability for a young black politician on the rise in Chicago.
This predicament was exemplified by the struggles of an African-American state senator with a white wife, who faced accusations that he “talks black but sleeps white.” Carol Moseley Braun, Illinois’ first African-American senator, whose ex-husband was white, also expressed that “interracial marriage restricts your political options.”
The Strain on Their Relationship
The weight of such considerations strained Obama and Jager’s relationship. A mutual friend of the couple revealed that Obama once said, “The lines are very clearly drawn…I have no standing here if I go out with a white woman.”
To distance himself from his past, Obama, known as Barry for much of his youth, insisted on being addressed by his full name, Barack. Jager recounted an incident when he became “irrationally furious” during a trip to Hawaii when she called him by his old nickname.
A Second Proposal and Harvard
Despite the mounting tensions in their relationship, Obama asked Jager to marry him once more before he left for Harvard Law School. His motivation, she believed, was rooted in a sense of desperation over their inevitable separation rather than genuine faith in their future together.
At Harvard Law School, Obama’s talent for classroom oratory stood out, though it sometimes irritated fellow students. He became the first African-American chief editor of the Harvard Law Review, an accomplishment that garnered him national attention and recognition within the African-American community.
Enter Michelle Robinson
After his first year at Harvard, Barack Obama returned to Chicago as a summer associate at a prestigious law firm. It was here that he met Michelle Robinson, the future First Lady. Their relationship quickly grew serious, even as Sheila Miyoshi Jager arrived at Harvard on a teaching fellowship.
Jager regretted her role in this chapter of Obama’s life, acknowledging that she always felt bad about it. Nevertheless, as Obama’s engagement to Michelle Robinson progressed, his communication with Jager dwindled.